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Difficult conversations : how to discuss what matters most
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen.
- New York : Penguin Books, 2010.
- 10th anniversary ed., [2nd ed.]
- xxxiii, 315 pages : illustrations; 20 cm.
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- Subjects
- Contents
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- Problem
- 1. Sort Out the Three Conversations
- Shift to a Learning Stance
- "What Happened?" Conversation
- 2. Stop Arguing About Who's Right: Explore Each Other's Stories
- 3. Don't Assume They Meant It: Disentangle Intent from Impact
- 4. Abandon Blame: Map the Contribution System
- Feelings Conversation
- 5. Have Your Feelings (Or They Will Have You)
- Identity Conversation
- 6. Ground Your Identity: Ask Yourself What's at Stake
- Create a Learning Conversation
- 7. What's Your Purpose? When to Raise it and When to Let Go
- 8. Getting Started: Begin from the Third Story
- 9. Learning: Listen from the Inside Out
- 10. Expression: Speak for Yourself with Clarity and Power
- 11. Problem-Solving: Take the Lead
- 12. Putting it all Together
- Ten Questions People Ask About Difficult Conversations
- 1. It sounds like you're saying everything is relative. Aren't some things just true, and can't someone simply be wrong?
- 2. What if the other person really does have bad intentions---lying, bullying, or intentionally derailing the conversation to get what they want?
- 3. What if the other person is genuinely difficult, perhaps even mentally ill?
- 4. How does this work with someone who has all the power---like my boss?
- 5. If I'm the boss/parent, why can't I just tell my subordinates/children what to do?
- 6. Isn't this a very American approach? How does it work in other cultures?
- 7. What about conversations that aren't face-to-face? What should I do differently if I'm on the phone or e-mail?
- 8. Why do you advise people to "bring feelings into the workplace"? I'm not a therapist, and shouldn't business decisions be made on the merits?
- 9. Who has time for all this in the real world?
- 10. My identity conversation keeps getting stuck in either-ro: I'm perfect or I'm horrible. I can't seem to get past that. What can I do?.
- Other information
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- "With a foreword by Roger Fisher"--Cover.
- "Updated with answers to the 10 most frequently asked questions about difficult conversations"--Cover.
- First published in the U.S.A. by Viking Penguin, 1999.
- ISBN
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- 9780143118442 (pbk.)
- 0143118447 (pbk.)
- Identifying numbers
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- OCLC: 671252867
- OCLC: 671252867
